New job for me. So yeah, i got a job and a health and diet clinic. It’s kind of weird thinking about the kind of job i have. It’s nothing like what i thought the job i would have after graduating from University. Far from it. I thought i’d be where i wanted to be, in the hospital, working as many hours as i wanted. Secondly, i thought i would have a job instantaneously after graduating. Totally wrong.
2 months later, after working a string of random shifts at the hospital, i landed a full time job. My first day was today. It all seems very do able. I do have to say though, i am someone who likes to be challenged, and i’m not sure how long this clinic will be able to hold me in. At the same time, however, i am intrigued to learn about all the responsibilities, the possibilities, and for personal and professional learning.
I can’t wait.

The olympics are here again! It’s always a thrill to watch the best of the best perform as olympians representing their home countries. It’s amazing to feel this sense of nationalism by living through the spirit of the people performing for Canada. Watching them, feeling their pain and joy throughout the games. I always felt lucky to be a Canadian and to have the opportunities that have been provided to me that I take for granted that other people would show immense gratitude to experience.
It’s so weird to feel so suddenly nationalistic when for most of my life this feeling just gets tucked away somewhere in the back of my mind. It’s something that i’ve always known, but seldom experience.

Time for a new phone!! Finally! So here’s the question: Blackberry Bold or iPhone 3G S. I just can’t decide.
In other news, i still haven’t bought a guitar… maybe after i get my car back from the mechanic. I haven’t taken apart my desk yet, and any prospects for valentine’s day have faded into the mist, lol.
But i’m making money now, so that’s always good, and i have a job prospect with a weight loss – diet clinic. Maybe it’ll pan out and i can quit the coffee shop.
Yay.
Also, check out the website i designed as a side project and a source of income. I’m pretty proud of it:
www.timberridge-homes.com

So, i went in to the bank for a Financial Assessment last week and it got me thinking. To sum up the appointment, i was basically handed a sheet in which i was evaluated financially. People, it looked sad. Fortunately i was able to add, albeit broken, a car and the insurance that i supposedly pay on it. Other then that it looked pretty shit.
I also found out i no longer have health insurance, well it’s not that i found out, i did know, but it was pointed out to me that i still haven’t done anything about it. I am no longer a “dependent,” even though i still live in my parents house and basically pay for nothing going on in my life anymore, because i am now done school.
Still it was sad to see how little my net worth was.
And now i sit here in my room staring at everything that isn’t mine. The only thing of any material worth i have in here is probably the macbook i sit here typing on, my tent, and maybe my iPod. The last probably 3 years of my life i have had an itch to start accumulating things, and now it seems to be an obsession. With the lack of car… i have been sitting on ikea, ebay and kijiji looking for things that i want, things for now and the future. I’ve decided to turn my “mother-in-law” room into a mini – “apartment.” Gay i know, i haven’t come up with a better name, but it’s better then “iPad.” My dad’s all for it. I told him i wanted to take down the massive desk that i never use. He said he would take it to the office. My mom seems mad about it… “you’ll never leave your room, we’ll never see you… blah blah.” I told my mom that i enjoy to be around others, and if i didn’t want to be around others i would have been sitting in the basement watching the huge tv that nobody uses… I love my… she just doesn’t want me to move out till i’m married and never spend any money i make, but to save it for something that doesn’t exist.
So the “stuff”i want to buy, which have been on my mind is a new, a lot smaller, desk, tv, a chaise or loveseat, and a guitar. Yeahhh… stuff.

With all the free time i have in my life right now, i’ve decided, i think, that i will buy a guitar. I went to my local guitar dealer and i found these:

So i’ve narrowed it down between acoustic and electric. The advantage of the acoustic however, is that it is part electric as well, having the ability to be plugged into a jack. They are both beautiful, and so far the reviews i’ve read have been marvelous. I saw the electric in the shop and absolutely fell in love with it, but i’m torn. Which to choose. I want. I want. I want. My inner rocker says to go with the electric, but my practical self says to go with the acoustic. I don’t know.
Why do they have to be so beautiful?

So i went out last night clubbing and the most creepy thing happened to me.
My friend and i took a break from the dance floor, i grabbed a drink and we sat down at a table. We’re talking, and this guy comes up and starts talking to us. It’s not what you think. We’re sitting there, and i something rubbing my foot. I thought it was some covert signal from my friend, who was talking to the guy at the moment… so i looked at her, but she wasn’t looking at me, or making any sort of “weirdo-guy” look. The rubbing stops… and i think nothing of it. I few seconds later… it starts again, and i look at my friend weirdly, and she looks at me like “What?” and then i think… why would she rub my foot instead of kick or nudge me… So i look under the table… and this black socked foot belonging to this old creepo guy sitting behind my friend, with which we had no previous contact with, was rubbing my pedal areas! NASTY! I looked right at him and mouthed to him “Fuck Off!” and he left. I wished i saw him again so i could tell a bouncer and he could kick him out something. Ewww.. why are there such gross creepers…. and the even worse part was is that he was with a creep-o looking women of his age as well. Ugh… it makes me shiver.

What is with me and not posting. Every day i mean to come on hear and post something interesting, but by the time i get to a computer i forget what that interesting little bit of information i wanted to type about even was.
I saw the movie Julie and Julia. As a female blogger i automatically related to this film. If my blog had more of a subject rather then the broad spectrum that is my life, maybe i would stick to blogging more. Instead of coming on here once a month to blog about the fact that i haven’t blogged is getting old. Saying this, however, i still haven’t thought of a subject that would narrow the topic of my blog, thus causing me to blog more.
So then what am i to do? It’s not like i can blog abotu my career because their are ethical and confidentiality issues that really couldn’t blog everyday about it without one day slipping up or worse, having a patient recognize themselves in my writing. Scary. My love life… most of the time it is dead. Not very exciting at the moment. There are prospects, but so far, nothing exciting enough to write about (until i do, like usual). So then what? The rest is the randomness of life. There. Now i’ve brought myself back to square one. Impossible.
Maybe one day it will come to me.

Woot! I’m done school! You are now reading the post of a girl who now has a Bachelor degree in Nursing! Officially it will be December 18th, but hey, no more classes, and no more working for free. Too bad i’m graduating out of a province in which a strict cut-backs have created a nursing environment in which a hiring freeze has come into effect, and now there are no casual hours, despite the need for nurses. So yeah, not quitting the coffee shop job yet. I pick up at the hospital whenever i can, i picked up last night after working the morning at the coffee shop. Hopefully after the new year, things will let up, new year new budget.
However, in light of these events, i’ve been looking into doing some travel nursing. I’ve been looking at going somewhere here within Canada, perhaps going down to the states (maybe with my sister who is going to Atlanta), or going to Scotland, England, New Zealand, or Australia. I wish i knew some people who had done some travel nursing, who can tell me what i need to do, what should i expect, and what it’s actually like to work and how it’s different then Canada. I know to go to the states i have to write an American exam. Is it really that much different then the Canadian exam? What do i need to know? It’s all so very confusing. Why is it so difficult to move and work internationally?

So guess what, i am part of the Mod Squad Team, so check out the beautiful and darling clothing on the online store Mod Cloth. The clothing they carry are absolute must-haves and checking them out is great inspiration for your own style. Check ‘em out Girls!

Void is the word i would use to describe my mind when i come to update this site. i have come on here on many separate occasions since my last post, but nothing came to mind. Still, i am sitting here thinking of what i should write next, but… void…

Perhaps it is because my mind has been bent upon surviving this last month of Nursing School. i want my bachelors degree. Just give it to me now. Thank you. i have also been concerned over the lack of jobs my province currently faces in the field of nursing. To this date, i have one scheduled shift in january at my previous place of work before going back to school. Not even any in December. What am i going to do. I still have my job at the coffee shop, but really… working at a coffee shop when i’m primed to be working at the hospital. I am currently trying to find casual work with not much luck. I’ve applied to about 5 places and have heard nothing. Tomorrow i’m going to talk to the manager on the unit where i’m completing my final practicum. Hopefully she is in her office, because all last week she was gone =/ Seems so last minute to be talking to her now, but c’est la vie.

See you next month. I will have A LOT more time on my hands =)

Life’s a bitch…. FML. Hahaha…
I’m going to do something with this blog post that i haven’t seriously done with blogs since about high school – Use this space for some therapy. I need to get the some of this off my chest, and where better then here, where one or two people might read it. So, for those of you still reading, i have given you sufficient warning.
I don’t even know where to start really, but maybe explain the title a little bit. I have titled this post “Karma” because i feel something i’ve done in the recent past to someone else has come back and now i am the one on the receiving end. Although the situational details of the main even i will describe are strikingly different, they both ended the same: After a couple of seemingly good dates, all communications between the two parties involved were stopped by one person, leaving the other disappointed, angry and confused as to why this happened. Suffice to say, i went on two good dates with a guy, had a sufficiently awesome time both times, but now i haven’t heard from him at all since the last date which was about a week and half ago, and i have sent him two casual “hey, what’s up?” messages and heard nothing back in return.

Now i could speculate on many reasons as to why this happened. His phone broke and he hasn’t received my texts. It’s happened to me before, so it might just be a misunderstanding. But he has a freakin iPhone. Seriously how do you break that? I don’t know anyone who’s had a problem with theirs… plus, there’s always Facebook to get in contact with someone. No need to blame it on your phone. If you wanted to get a hold of someone, you would find a way. Gay. This fact makes me feel like crap, but i must stop being naive, and learn a hard lesson. I’ve never had someone not call me… this is tough. I want to try calling him or something, but i know i shouldn’t and i should just forget about it, but then again, midterms did run over the course of last week…. hahaha!
It’s stupid because he said “this was fun, we should do it again.” and i should have said: “yeah, i’ll call you.” Fuck!
And now for the serious speculation.
Things got physical during our date… we didn’t “do it” per se, but i am responsible for some serious blue ballin’ if you know what i’m saying. I haven’t “done it” in a while. And when i say, a while, i mean like it’s been like a year since i’ve done anything remotely sexual. Yeah. Suffice to say, i was nervous and a lot hesitant in doing anything at all. Making a “game” of it like he did IN MY CAR did not help the situation either, not that i told him it has been this long. The rule was not to stop or “get off”, best of 7. Obviously i lost, not because of the latter, but the former rule. i knew this would be the result, and i told him i would lose, and when i did, he actually said i lost… haha! I objected…I even gave him a chance to take it back, and when he didn’t i was like… well i guess we’re done then. I wanted to punish him… but now is this the reason why i haven’t heard back from him?
So yeah, after going home jacked, i realized how long it’s been since i’ve wanted to have sex. And now i regret the whole situation terribly. But at the same time, i don’t think it should’ve been made into a game… i think it would have been better if it “just happened.”

What i have learned: Silencing communication and the subsequent “rejection” feeling totally sucks. I actually ended up emailing guy who i cut communications with, as he sent me an email at the beginning of the month asking what happened. Although it was a late response, i felt compelled to answer, because i realized that no one deserves to feel this way, no matter the circumstance and have no closure. I gave this guy closure, albeit late, but at least he has it now.
I have also learned that i really miss having sex. It’s been fun feeling all jacked up for a week and half, but also very frustrating that i haven’t been able to release this energy on someone else. This realization could be dangerous. Maybe i should go buy some condoms for just in case…. Hahahaha! Yeah right, been there, done that. I have resolved earlier that a one night stand will never happen again. Well, is it really a one night stand if you had a couple one night stands with the same person? I digress.
FML!